Discouragement, delusion, magnificence and spiritual resolve.

by Geoff Hall on February 29, 2012

February, 2012. Discouragement, delusion, magnificence and spiritual resolve.

"My Name Is Sorrow" Copyright 2012, Geoff Crawford. Produced exclusively for Handy Cloud Productions

Dear Arts Mentoring Group,

Some things take longer to plan than to execute. Whilst you are sure in your mind about where you are headed and the shape of things to come (art, music, poetry, dance, film) others may look on and consider you a little mad.


When people look at the film we’ve just ‘completed’, they will see that it was ‘made’ in two days at a studio not far from Bristol, oh and an easy morning’s shoot on a lovely sunny morning for the sunrise shot. However, for the last year I’ve been writing, trying to find the money to make it, looking for the right actress, the right music and so much more. At times I’m sure people considered me a bit out there, a bit of an idealist maybe, maybe even waiting for a crash landing.


You get used to it of course, but much of what has gone on may have appeared grandiose to some. The Handy Cloud motto of ‘changing the world one film at a time’ perceived as, well a little delusional perhaps?


Much of who we are as artists goes on behind the scenes, beyond the public gaze and when we let slip a few snippets of our imagination into the public domain, we may appear to have lost it. The good news is always hard to find in such times, as discouragement is an added burden we could well do without. Such doubts, aired by cunningly placed friends and colleagues only serve to evaporate confidence, but as we dig deeper we find a creative, spiritual resolve.


Last week we worked neither frantically, nor panicking due to the pressure with My Name Is Sorrow. We worked with a common aim to do the best we could with limited resources and I have to say if according to the writer and director Paul Schrader, that if you get 80% of what you wanted in a film, then you were indeed successful. Bearing that in mind I have to be more than content with every aspect of the film. The crew were magnificent and Natasha (Paulinyi), well, what can I say, I was just gobsmacked at her focus and performance. If I could I’d give her a BAFTA or an Oscar!!

“My Name Is Sorrow” Copyright 2012, Geoff Crawford. Produced exclusively for Handy Cloud Productions.


This is just so much like God at work in us. So much goes on unseen and some stuff when it surfaces may appear to others a tad bizarre, but hey, as Mies van der Rohe said, ‘God is in the Detail’ and our aim should be to press on regardless of detractors. Our need is not to be met in such naysayers, but in coming together to make something that we alone could not achieve. I needed a crew and cast, you may need an agent, a gallery or a band, (it’s called community!) but dear ones, let’s persevere, let’s press on so that we make a difference to a crumbling world and then stand in a world renewed. Go on, you know you want to!!


Peace and Love,




Hi Geoff,
Loved the considered still of the auteur at work. It seems, from your commentary, that you enjoyed one of those cloud thinning moments when all becomes clear in the bright gaze of the sun. The arduous work, the days of brutal questioning and the obstacles set by enemies and loved ones alike flow away downstream in a moment of creative bliss. The reward, however difficult to reach, casts the whole journey into a different light. I look forward to the premiere. Now where is my gold lamé jacket…

by Marco Cazzulini on February 29, 2012 at 6:41 pm. Reply #

Hi Marco,

I think struggle as an end in itself is worthless. It is when the struggle leads to the goal and DG we have done that! Working with others is always the greatest reward, but it has taken a long time since conception to birth (over a year), but the travail brings joy in the morning.

After we reviewed the rushes with Natasha we had a sense of “wow!” and it is easy for me to gush about Natasha’s performance, or Tim’s camerawork, so I best stop now.

Thanks for your encouragement.

Peace and Love,


by Geoff Hall on March 1, 2012 at 11:59 am. Reply #

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